If you’re reading this, then you and I probably have something in common. We may have different jobs, we may live in different states, and we may like completely opposite genres of music, but God has placed the same desire on our hearts for this one thing. Getting married.
Who knew that so much emotion and baggage could be all packaged up neatly into those two words. Beneath the surface of those 14 letters is a whole book of stories from girls just like us. Some might have never even had a taste of what its like to love someone that much. Some have been so close that they could just about reach their arm out and grab it. Others reading this know what it feels like to put a cold metal ring on their finger, gaze at the reflection in their new shiny rock, and think that they were staring into the eyes of forever. As a senior in college, I know women in each of these circumstances and it is a constant reminder that the fantasy of having a perfect fairytale is only meant for story books.
Tell me if this sounds familiar. You’re watching Netflix, riding the Subway, at a stoplight, or even sitting in class. You open Facebook or Instagram as you’ve routinely done for the past 7 years. All of a sudden, thanks to Facebook’s mysterious newsfeed algorithm, you are slammed with pictures and status updates from the world’s newest engaged duo. If you’re like me, these images have the ability to illicit very different responses. Sometimes you cry and you can’t tell if its happy tears, sad tears, or the fusion of both. Maybe at this point you just let out one big huff of air that is both a laugh and a silent prayer asking God, “Again? Really?”.
When everyone is getting engaged except for you, it’s important to remember that actually, not everyone is getting engaged and you are not the only one still in your spot. I wish there was a quick fix and that I could string together a few words to eloquently and succinctly wash away our tears, hurt, and confusion, but alas, there is not.
Something that I’ve begun to realize is that as much as I miss the people that I’ve loved, I am so thankful that I learned their true colors before tying the knot. I’ve looked at rings and tried on dresses, but we didn’t quite make it to an engagement
unfortunately. The people that have been in my life that I’ve seen a future with are either engaged, or probably close to it. One got engaged after hitting me up in the fall when he knew I was with my boyfriend at the time. A few months later he met a new girl, and within three months, he put a ring on it. Both are college dropouts. My recent ex talked about marriage all the time with me and even named four future hypothetical kids with me. After only two weeks from the last time he saw me, he was hooking up with a new girl that knew everything about me and still broke the girl code. I don’t know much about her education, but he’s a college dropout with a 0.00 GPA, and she “paints”.
I joke sometimes that “oh look how happy these people are now. Meanwhile I’m drowning in homework struggling to keep up with bills and getting a text back”. But you know what? I’m continuing my education and will graduate with a bachelors degree next spring. I am currently completing my fourth internship at an award-winning, top of the line agency in Manhattan, NYC, and while they’re talking about upcoming weddings and with my replacement, I’m building a foundation for a life that I can’t wait to live and even though marriage seems pretty far off now, I know that my life will be better for it. I live my life thinking about how I can enjoy every moment and learn and grow. I’m not looking for my next relationship or who will give me attention (eh, maybe looking for a little bit of attention, but that’s human…right?)
I guess my point is that it’s okay to not be the one that gets engaged first after a serious relationship. Sometimes it can hurt like hell, and that’s okay, but keep chugging. You do you!